Don't you dare blink twice today, Hii Kenya yetu leo kuna vituko. Over there in Nairobi CBD, a young mikora who's a full-time intern at the GoFundMe Tom Mboya street branch was busy working from home on the pavement, pretending his legs were on strike.

After hitting his day's target, the small scammer stood up casually to go deposit the day’s haram collections. When he returned to his workstation, the hard-eyed citizens had already rearranged his office layout. They caught him red-handed and began installing the WiFi of discipline on his legs.

At first the young man tried to act disabled, dragging one leg like an extra from cobra squad. But after strokes increased from 2G to 5G speed, the boy resurrected instantly and shouted, “Eloi Eloi, I’m healed in Jesus name!”

But the public was quick to remind him that Thou shall not call God’s name in vain especially during public participation hours! They then greeted him with a full community spanking package before releasing him to return the field report to his bosses at GoFundMe Headquarters huko Mukuru kwa Ruben.

This reminded me of one incident where my highschool best friend Dennis Koros used to fake illness by just "falling down" alafu akiamka anapewa mkate na chai. One day he was taken to Sigilai facility unconscious.

Kufika huko akapatana na wepesi who were used to such theatrics from the little man, they called the mortuary to come and pick their client. Gafla bin vuu the young man jumped from the examination couch and murifeed back to the school van. Chesaa!!